The Life of An Angel
by XeroSanity
Summary: Six months ago, Cassie was found by the Winchesters. Because of an accident six years ago, Dean took Cassie across the country in the hopes she could be somebody else's problem. Despite everything, she's become a fully fledged Angel and member of Team Free Will. But now she's torn between her purpose and love for Sam. Dean is AWOL, and Castiel's grace is fading. What happens now?
1. Chapter 1: Into the Fire

**Author's Note: I have decided to start off the next new chapters of The Heart of An Angel as a different story entirely. Here are the reasons why. As this is going on, the start of the second installment of THOAA marks the start of the next season in Supernatural, Season 10, so it would only make sense that the new season is represented as something separate from the story you know so far. Also, a lot of shit has happened by this point (both in THOAA and the show) so like the TV series, you guys probably need a recap. Lastly, Cassandra is an entirely different person from who she was at the start. She's matured, grown, and evolved into a new individual with new obstacles and a new set of problems. So it would make sense for the start of her new journey to be shown as its own set of chapters. So I give you the second "Novel" in this Fanfic,** _ **The Life of An Angel.**_

 _The Road So Far…_

 _Carry On My Wayward Son_

Muddy footprints littered the floor of the Bunker. Sam and Dean followed them with guns and flashlights in hand, to find a young girl, fast asleep in one of the beds…

 _There'll be peace when you are done_

The impulse to move forward was so strong but it only weakened his ability to walk.

"CAS!" Dean immediately rushed to help him, bracing him over his shoulders.

Cas felt that his heart was about to burst from his chest. "NO. It's…It's impossible," he managed to gasp out, but Dean heard him.

"What?" Dean said, searching Cas' blue yes for answers.

Castiel: I feel the presence of an Angel. I have to see her.

Sam: Why? Who is she?

Castiel: My sister.

 _Lay your weary head to rest_

"You aren't my friends," she said hesitantly. "I don't have friends."

"It's all real. Angels, Heaven…even God."

 _Don't you cry no more_

"Why are you all frazzled-looking? Did you get lucky in the past five minutes?"

Dean: You're defending her.

Sam: Well, yeah. You're acting like a jerk towards her when she's obviously not a threat to us.

Dean: Nah, that's not it. You **like** her.

 _Once I rose above the noise and confusion_

"She can't stay here. She's dangerous! She has powers that she obviously can't control!"

 _Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion_

"Sam, right now I'm not – "

" – Cas, I need you to read something. It's on the back of Cassandra's watch."

"What is it?"

Sam grinned with triumph. "It looks like Enochian."

 _I was soaring ever higher_

"How old were you when you had your first kiss?"

 _Goddammit why did the conversation always get back to this?_ She didn't respond, looking down at the table.

Dean opened up a new beer and took a swig, but froze when he looked at her again. "Cassie?"

She didn't even look at him.

 _Oh shit._ "You… _have_ been kissed before, right?"

 _But I flew too high_

 _Holy shit._ There was no way that Dean Winchester had just gotten schooled in classic rock by a 22-year-old Virgin. This was _not_ happening.

 _Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man_

"You and Sam are hunters. If you had been given any reason to believe I was a monster…would you have killed me?

Dean swallowed suddenly, startled by the question. "That's kind of a dark topic for so early in the morning, don't you think?"

 _Though my mind could think I still was a mad man._

"How about we talk about how you have the hots for my brother?"

Cassandra blushed, but grinned. "You still haven't denied anything."

Dean paused a bit longer than should've been necessary. "I'm not into Cas."

"That felt forced."

"We're done talking."

 _I hear the voices when I'm dreaming_

"I'm not putting my sister's life at risk for a second time! I don't care that she's not at her full power or that she doesn't remember me. I'll take her no matter what form she's in because she's my sister and I love her. And I am not, under any circumstance, taking the risk of losing her again!

 _I can hear them say_

When was the last time that kissing felt like this? It was as if there was a current of lightning flowing through the both of them. There were burning sensations everywhere their skin touched and they hadn't even taken their clothes off.

 _Carry on My Wayward Son_

"I'm _unwell_ because the one person in my life who isn't supposed to keep secrets from me is doing just that, and dammit Cas you know I'd help you! Why isn't Cassandra something we can fix together?"

 _There'll be peace when you are done_

"Why me?" he asked softly.

Dean swallowed nervously, leaning into Castiel's warm touch. "B-because I didn't have faith in God until you decided to have faith in me."

 _Lay your weary head to rest_

"Hunters don't give away weapons like that to just anyone, and we only do it when we think it's necessary. So it means two things. One, that he thinks there will come a time when you need it, and two, he plans to teach you how to use it."

 _Don't you cry no more!_

She realized there was a lot more in the mirror than there had been before. Cassandra thought she knew who she was, but she was just barely starting to figure it out.

 _Masquerading as a man with a reason_

She rolled her eyes. _This hunk of man is going to be the death of me, I swear._

 _My charade is the event of the season_

"I'll never find love like this again, Sam. You're my first and my only. I don't remember my Angel life but I know that even if I had my memories form then it would still be true. You're the only man I've ever loved and I want to stay with you forever."

 _And if I claim to be a wise man_

"Every Angel that needs a weapon is forged one after God sends in a commission for them. I know the names and faces of every client, Angel or otherwise. It's my job. We've been crafting weapons for the divine beings of this world for thousands of years. The jewelry industry is more of a cover, really, to hide the main operation of weapon-forging.

 _Well, it surely means that I don't know._

"This is all because of that human, isn't it? You don't care about the demons you've slaughtered, or how long you've been on this earth, you don't even really care about Sarah. It's him, isn't it? The human, Sam. He's the reason you're resisting."

"I am done with hearing about that flannel-clad denim doormat you call _lover_ ," he said the last word like it was a curse word he hated using.

 _On a stormy sea of moving emotion_

"Oh. Well, that's good then. Why is Dean in Missouri?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you about his little rendezvous with Crowley?"

There was a long pause. "No," Cas said, obviously mad. "Why is he with Crowley?"

"They're looking for something called the First Blade so they can kill Abaddon."

 _Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean_

"Having that mark…it's going to change you, Dean. You may feel fine right now, but if you don't keep this thing in check…it's going to be the end of you."

"No, _you'll_ be the end of me. It's always a fucking roller-coaster with you!"

"I don't intend – "

"Well, it doesn't matter because it is! You're a supernatural being, so of course I can't know your whereabouts 24/7 but that just adds to the stress! I don't know what I feel about you, but whatever it is I can't feel it because if we…" Dean swallowed, closing his eyes and turning away. "If we could be something, you'd outlive me anyway. So what's the point?!" Dean slammed his fist on the table, channeling all of his hurt and anxiety into that one punch. "And now you're looking at me like I'm some kind of freak. I'm not Sam when he was tripping on Demon Blood, or you when you were filled to the brim with Leviathans, I'm just me!"

 _I set a course for winds of fortune_

Sam growled, "It wasn't the sex! It wasn't _just_ sex, either. It was so much more than that!"

Dean still couldn't believe that Sam was so careless and selfish. " _Oh wait, yes I can_. "Yeah yeah, you guys made love. Great. But you were her first, Sam. Her first everything. You took her virginity and you're gonna end up taking her life!"

 _But I hear the voices say_

"I wanted to tell you that whatever comes with having this Mark…you're not going through it alone. We'll deal with the consequences together. I'm here for you."

 _Carry on my wayward son_

"I am so fed up with your constant suspicion and this bitch fest that you've been on. Okay? Ever since you two got back from Maine you've been possessive, irritable and overly-protective, and even Cassie sees the change! If you don't wanna trust me, then fine, but you should at least trust her! She fucking adores you!"

Sam winced. _Don't bring her into his._ "If you really have no romantic interest in her what so ever then why do you look at her the way you do?"

"Because sometimes, in the right lighting and at the right angle, she looks just like Cas!"

 _There'll be peace when you are done_

 _If I tell him that I'm an Angel, I might as well announce it to the entire world. Hell would know, Heaven would know…_

But wait. What if the other Angels could help? Maybe find a way to get Sarah out of her…

But they'd probably want her to go back to serving Heaven the ways he used to.

And she wanted a life with Sam.

 _Lay your weary head to rest_

Sam smiled, holding her hand again. "You can consider yourself an official Hunter now. You took a bullet for us, you're pretty handy with spells, and you've got more guts than Dean and I combined."

Cassie smiled. "I seriously doubt that," she countered.

 _Don't you cry no more, no!_

Cassie took a breath, then looked back up at Sam. "My brother is in this fight. More directly than I am, but it used to be that he and I were alongside each other no matter what. This is my fight too. It's who I am. Remember?"

 _Carry on_

"You speak of the ideal circumstances, where everyone loves one another as brother and sister. What you describe is a Utopia, which does not exist."

" _Sic liberare constringantur vincula vestra_ ," she chanted and the angel-proof shackles broke. Gadreel stared at her, eyes wide.

She smiled. "It could," she said.

 _You will always remember_

 _You know what? Fuck it. There's nothing wrong with what I feel._ "He'd love to come," Dean smiled at him as he said it, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Color rose to his face and he was shy about it, but the message was clear to Cas.

 _You're mine and I'm proud of it._

 _Carry on_

Sam: Metatron knows she's alive and on our side. She's already in danger. So instead of letting her become a target, we can turn her into a threat."

Castiel: You are Cassandra, Pure of Heart. Commander in Chief of Michael's Army, and the most ruthless Warrior in our Garrison. If the Angels knew that you are alive and well, they would join you in a heartbeat. Your return would be the biggest event in all of our history."

 _Nothing Equals the Splendor_

Cassie: This tug of war game you've been playing with my body needs to stop.

Sarah: I wouldn't say tug-of-war. More like…a puppeteer controlling the motions of a marionette. You didn't put up much of a fight.

Cassie: Or else.

Sarah: If you had the balls to kill me, you would've done it by now. But you don't quite have the juice, do you? The only way to get rid of me is to wiggle your nose and concoct that spell you have in your pocket. But you wouldn't risk your life just to have me out of the way…would you?

 _Now your life's no longer empty  
_

Sam sat up to face her, and stared straight into her eyes. "You made a promise to me that no matter what, you'd build a life with me. No matter what you learned about your past, or if you ever reclaimed your grace, nothing would change how we feel about…us."

"Sam…if I were another Angel, and I was possessing Sarah, what would you be trying to do?"

Sam didn't speak partly because he knew what the answer would be.

He'd do everything in his power to eject the Angel and save the human.

Because that was their job.

"it's not the same," he insisted.

 _Surely heaven waits for you_

"A New York number?" Sam looked at his phone with scrutiny, but picked it up and answered. "hello?"

"Hi, is this Sam or Dean Winchester?"

"Yeah, this is Sam."

"Oh, good. I…my Aunt Jodie said I should talk to you."

"Sheriff Jodie Mills?"

"Yes. My name is Elyse, and I've been…well…this is going to sound crazy…"

 _Carry on my wayward son  
_

Cas rolled his eyes. "For God's sake, Dean, we've been physically intimate, we share a bed, we've spent the night together on more than one occasion, shared meals together, all of that on top of the _fact I raised you from perdition – "_

"– Oh, come on! Not _that_ again, you can't keep pulling that card on me – "

"– WE'RE TOGETHER, OKAY?!"

 _There'll be peace when you are done  
_

Sarah: You promised. You said just a bit longer. You were going to find a way for us both to coexist.

Cassie: I'm sorry but I don't have the luxury of spending time searching for a cure anymore. He's right. I can't protect my family as a human. That's already been proven. Elyse and David are dead because all I could do was throw salt at a ghost and then crumble to pieces.

Sarah: We were supposed to be in this together! I was even starting to like you!

Cassie: I don't have a choice anymore. Time's up.

 _Lay your weary head to rest  
_

"Just because our job is to protect people that doesn't mean we've never killed anyone," Dean said in a dangerous tone. "Make no mistake: The only reason you're still standing and not six feet under is there's a chance that Cassie is still in there somewhere. That is the only meal ticket you've got."

"Who are you?" She asked.

He pulled away and snapped his fingers. They had left Cassie's mindscape and were now inside a small café in the dead of winter. "I've been known by a lot of different names," he confessed, "But you can call me Chuck."

 _Don't you cry  
_

Chuck: Even youths grow tired and weary. And young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles, they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.

 _Don't you cry no more!_

Sam laughed darkly. "What did you expect? That after you'd defeated her, Dean and I would welcome you with open arms? That I'd fall in love with you on the spot, Cas would take you in as his sister, and everything would be hunky-dory? Life doesn't work that way. You can't just take someone's place and pick up where they left off!"

 _No more!_

"Look," Sarah forced out with the little oxygen she had left, "I don't care if getting back your mojo changes how you feel. You save Sam. Help Dean. Fix Cas. Stop that Mega-man or whatever he's called. Do what I can't."

The chilling response echoed deep and dark inside her chest.

 _I intend to._

 _One month ago…._

"If the spell works, and my Grace is awakened…" she looked out the window, contemplating. "I'm not going to be the same woman, am I?"

Castiel kept his eyes on the road, but images of his sister clad in silver armor slashing left and right at Demons flooded his mind. Cassandra soaring through the air, her pure white wings glistening pink and orange as the color of the sky was caught by the tips of her feathers. Her graceful movements, her coarse, wild tribal style of warfare, a technique that had been lost to the Angels for thousands of years since they adapted to be more refined as times changed. And her teeth clenched in fury, her eyes blazing with an icy coldness that was only ever seen in combat as her blades grew coated in black blood.

If all of that came back to her…

"No," he simply said.

 _Then…_

Cassie's words echoed in Sam's mind, not meaning anything at first, then crashing on him slowly and painfully like a Sphygmomanometer.

 _Sam, there's a reason my healing didn't work on him._

 _Do you know how Cain became the first demon?_

 _According to the story, he couldn't live with what he was becoming, and so he attempted to end his life. He died._

 _But it didn't work._

 _Dean's not dead._

 _ **He's something worse.**_

 _Now…._

Chapter 1

Into the Fire

Sam paced back and forth in Dean's room while Cassandra watched silently from the corner. After a few moments of doing this, he finally looked at Cassandra again.

The woman he loved, who he thought he'd never see again, was there, in perfect health.

But it wasn't the same Cassandra.

And he didn't even have time to ponder what her resurgence meant because of Dean's disappearance.

"He can't be a demon, Cassie," Sam insisted. "Crowley probably has some demon scum parading around in his meat suit like it's the funniest – "

"He has an anti-possession tattoo," Cassie reminded him gently. "He can't be possessed, even in death."

"Dean is not a demon! He has been stolen or kidnapped, whatever you want to call it, but Crowley knows where he is, I'm sure of it."

Cassie bit her lip. "What should we do?"

Sam didn't have a chance to answer before there was a knock at the door.

They both stiffened, Sam pulling out his gun and Cassie simultaneously withdrawing her Suan Ywe Gou.

Sam blushed, surprised to see Hunter reflexes from Cassie.

But then he remembered.

Soundlessly she made it down the hallway, up the stairs and to the vault door of the Bunker.

She opened it to find another Angel standing there.

"Greetings, Cassandra the Dual Wielder," he said with a smile.

She lowered her blade and relaxed. "Hello, Joshua," she said.

"I'm glad you have returned to your full strength. Congratulations on your recovery," he said professionally but not coldly.

Sam eventually joined her outside the door of the Bunker.

"Your brother requests your presence. I'm here to escort you to Heaven's Gate so you can resume your duties," he beamed.

Escorting Cassandra was probably going to be the highlight of his career as an Angel. "Well, since the war is over, I'm not sure I really have any – "

" – Oh nonsense, we'll find a place for you in the new regime in no time! With your numerous talents and abilities, finding a new job won't be difficult at all," he assured her.

Cassie's eyes flickered to Sam's. "May I have a moment, Joshua?"

"Of course, take all the time you need," he said.

She ducked back behind the bunker door with Sam. She shook her head once they made eye contact in the dark space. "I can't leave while this is happening," she told Sam. "Dean is important to me too. We need to figure out what's going on."

Sam nodded. "Of course. I know that." Sam thought for a moment. "But your brother needs you. He's still weak because of his fading grace, and Cas can't do all the work of leading the Angels alone."

Cassie reached up on her tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on Sam's mouth, then pulled away. "Yes, but…I mean…there's a lot that we haven't yet discussed."

Sam tensed. "You mean with us?" he asked, immediately feeling a wad of anxiety form in his chest.

Cassie sighed. "I have all these…emotions, feelings…" she tried to get out, making vague hand motions. "I shouldn't have any of them. I should not have much of a regard for humans, let alone be emotionally attached to them…have…a... _romantic_...tie with…" and she trailed off, thinking about all of the mind-blowing physical experiences she'd had with Sam, and immediately fell silent, flushing bright red.

Sam pulled her against him in a tight embrace. "Feelings don't need a reason to exist, they just do," he told her. "As long as what you feel for me hasn't changed, then that's all that matters."

Cassandra shivered, overcome with all of her new memories. All including images of Sam. His smile, the tints of color in his eyes, how effortlessly he could envelop her in his arms and make her forget about everything. Not to mention the physical aspect of their relationship. Sam's intense sensuality in bed, a stark contrast to his firm yet gentle demeanor, and all of the firsts she's had with him. "It hasn't changed," she said breathlessly, "but the way I see these emotions is different."

Her two pasts were coexisting in parallel. The past twenty years as a human, the 4,000 years of being an Angel of the Lord. One of them had been a drifter, a silly girl in love, another had been a warrior with a past and family.

Now, she was both.

And also neither.

"Maybe this could be good for you," Sam said. "I don't want you to leave, but for now… reacquaint yourself with all the other Angels, get back in the swing of things, see if it helps you."

Cassie thought about it. When she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of Sam, she could pretend nothing else existed.

She was just Cassie Trevelyan, the lover of Sam Winchester, and companion to the Winchesters.

But she knew in her heart she couldn't be _just that_ anymore.

Cassandra finally pulled away, and nodded. "Okay. I'll report to my brother, receive a new position, and then come back. In the meantime, you search for Dean and when you've found something, pray to me, and I'll come."

Sam smirked. "Or, I can call you," he reminded her, handing her the cell phone she'd left behind.

She blushed. "Oh. Right." Cassie cleared her throat awkwardly, then shuffled back over to the door.

"Hey," Sam said.

She blushed redder, turning around to face him.

"I love you," he reminded her.

To Cassie's surprise, a grin automatically appeared on her face. "I love you," she replied, then stepped out into the sunshine, closing the door behind her.

"Well?" Joshua said expectantly.

"Lead the way."

"Of course. But one thing first."

From behind his back, Joshua revealed what looked like a white women's business suit with a light blue blouse to wear underneath the jacket, and a pair of black heels.

Cassie immediately glared disapprovingly at the ensemble. "No."


	2. Chapter 2: New World

Chapter 2

New World

Cassie threw herself into the sky's embrace as her wings emerged and catapulted her through the crisp, clean air. This was what she missed the most.

Even as a human, her heart was always trying to make its way into the sky, under the sun's warm gaze and through clouds, feeling the cold moisture cling to her finger tips.

She followed Joshua until they landed in a brightly colored playground, where Heaven's entrance was located. A sigil was drawn, and the entrance was opened in a brilliant glow of whirring light.

The moment Cassie was through, she was hit with a pang of nostalgia and familiarity so powerful it stopped her in her tracks.

Joshua turned around to check on her. "Cassandra?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, her eyes clearing. "I …I just haven't felt this in such a long time…"

A lightness in the air, a soft, barely-there scent unique to Heaven. She was home.

But somehow it didn't feel the same as it once did. It was as though she was returning to her hometown after being gone for twenty years.

She felt a tie to this place, but deep down, could Cassandra ever become a part of it again?

"This way," Joshua urged, still beaming. "Castiel is waiting for you in Heaven's Prison."

Cassandra no longer needed to be escorted.

She knew exactly where that was. She'd brought enough evil doers to justice by throwing them there.

Cassandra started to walk in front of Joshua, soon leaving him behind to his dismay.

Once she was in the stone chambers, she saw her brother, standing with Hannah.

Hannah was smiling and immediately walked over to pat Cassie on the shoulder. "Welcome back, Sister," she said with obvious pride.

Cassie felt color flush to her cheeks, and pulled her in for a one-armed hug, looking over Hannah's shoulder at Castiel.

His eyes were damp with moisture.

"It's really me," Cassandra assured, pulling away from Hannah and taking Castiel's hands in hers. "I'm here, brother. And I'll do everything I can to help you rebuild our home."

Castiel was biting back a smile. "You weren't known for your construction skills in the past," he joked.

She scowled playfully at him. Then leaned in to whisper into his ear. "They want me to wear a business suit. With a _skirt."_

Castiel's eyes flickered over to Hannah's with confusion.

Joshua finally caught up, panting a little with the suit still wrapped in plastic. "I am here…" he began, out of breath, "to present Cassandra the Duel Wielder, whom I showed the gate and escorted here. I apologize for her not being adorned in our typical garb, she refused to change clothes."

Cassandra was surprised to feel an instant and hot well of anger spring up in her.

Like her brother, Cassandra would always feel emotions more completely and intensely than other Angels, because the energy they were made with was flawed. Or perfected, depending on your point of view.

Which is why Joshua's comment would not go unaddressed. "I understand that all you're doing is carrying out orders, but I was trained to be a _soldier_. A warrior who destroys any demon spawn that dares to hurt God's creations – "

" – Cassandra, it's alright," Hannah said, trying to diffuse the situation. "What you say is true. Thousands of years ago, we were largely at a time of war with Hell's forces. But now that Lucifer is caged, Hell is under control, and Metatron has been brought to justice, we are at a time of peace. We do not need soldiers. We need healers. Builders. Educators. We need you."

The old Cassie would've blushed and turned away at such a claim, not seeing how she could possibly be useful to anyone.

But this Cassandra held her head high and met direct eyes with Hannah. "So you're saying that since we're not in a time of war, I don't have to worry about being combat-ready?"

"Exactly," Hannah said with pleasantness in her voice.

Cassandra glanced at all three Angels. "Yet we all still conceal and carry Angel Blades, demons still walk the earth terrorizing humans, and we are taught how to create sigils for protection and defense. But we have _no need_ to be prepared for fighting?"

Hannah took a deep breath. "Humans still have free will that allows them to consult with demons if they choose, we cannot interfere with that. And I'm sure the impulse to carry around an Angel Blade will prove to be unsupported, once the last few straggler angels on earth are dealt with. For the most part, you can now enjoy simply being an Angel of the Lord. Aside from rebuilding, you can stow away your weapons and armor."

Cassandra had no desire to do any such thing. She'd just gotten back her sword and armor, and now they wanted to take it _away_ from her? And dress her up like a secretary?

"We also don't have the need for protective sigils anymore, much less ones for anti-demon possession," Hannah pointed out, glancing at Cassandra's neck.

Cassie stiffened, knowing full well what Hannah was referring to without looking down. _You're not taking this necklace away. Sam gave it to me. It keeps me connected to him._

Once again, she knew she shouldn't feel such a strong affection for a necklace or for a human, but she did, and she was done fighting it.

"I know my brother summoned me back to Heaven in the hopes that I would help him lead you all. I was a commander in War, I was a leader of Troops, and one of the top warriors in our Garrison. But my area of expertise is battle and warfare, not paperwork."

She glanced back up at her brother. "I will rebuild, I will heal, and I will teach," she continued, "But I cannot do any of that in a pair of heels and a skirt."

Castiel shrugged, not having a preference either way.

Hannah sighed. "I just thought you'd want to adorn something more appropriate. Denim and Flannel is what common humans wear who've had to brave harsh wilderness."

Cassandra stiffened. _Right, this is the part where I have to be completely dedicated to our cause and not emotionally connected to humanity at all what-so-ever._ "I'm….still transitioning," she claimed, color rising to her cheeks. "This is the closest thing humans have to armor and it's comfortable."

Hannah nodded. "Very well. Until you are done transitioning, Joshua will hold on to your new uniform."

Cassandra scowled. _That's not a compromise. It just means I'll have to wear it at some point. Ugh._

"To be honest, I think we've debated my wardrobe choices for a lot longer than was necessary," Cassie snapped. "There are more important matters I need to discuss with my brother than my clothing preferences."

Hannah raised an eyebrow and Joshua scoffed as he left the room.

Metatron finally chimed in after a few moments of silence. "Darn. I thought I was gonna get to see the great and powerful swordswoman in stilettos. Such a shame."

Cassie glanced up at her brother, still visibly weaker than usual.

His grace was fading fast. Cassandra had no way of telling how much longer her brother had left, but she knew it wasn't long.

She took her brother's hand and glared at Metatron in his prison cell. "I have a few things to discuss with you as well," she said darkly.

I'll be here," his voice echoed down the hall.

Metatron's words permeated Cassandra's mind before she pulled Castiel out of the prison until they got to what used to be Metatron's office.

She slammed the door shut. "I know everything is in shambles up here, but we got problems back at home, too."

Castiel sat down, finally letting himself feel and show how tired and weak he actually was. He'd been putting on a brave face for Hanna and Metatron but now that he was with his sister, who wouldn't utter a word about his condition, he relaxed.

"I'm surprised you refer to the Bunker as home instead of Heaven."

Cassie sighed. "For the most part, Heaven seems to be about the same. A place with alotta rules, over-worked employees and stupid dress codes. Back in the day, I spent more time on the field, not up here filing records."

Castiel smiled. "What did you want to tell me, sister?"

Cassandra bit her lip, willing herself to be calm. "Something's happened to Dean."

Castiel's eyes widened and Cassie's heart fell as she saw his face fill up gradually with dread and despair as if he were a pitcher. "Metatron said Dean's…" He couldn't say it.

Cassie cleared her throat. "We have no idea where he is, but Sam is doing everything he can – "

" – Wait, he's alive?" Castiel burst from the chair he was sitting in, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. "Dean's alive?"

Cassie pushed her hair out of her face. "Dean was stabbed by Metatron. I healed him, but he was still dying. After I did my best to heal Dean, I sent him and Sam back to the Bunker, then I began to duel Metatron but he vanished. I heard on Angel Radio that you had succeeded in apprehending him, so I went back to the Bunker to check on the boys. Sam thought Dean had died, but when we went into his room to check on him, Dean was gone."

Castiel's heart and mind were racing. "I don't understand…"

Cassie hugged her brother close. "Sam refuses to acknowledge it…but Dean has the mark of Cain. I think he died…but then came back as something else."

Castiel vision was starting to blur as his emotions overwhelmed him. "You think he's…"

Neither one would say the words, but they rang in their ears nonetheless.

 _A demon._

Cassie clung to her brother tightly, then let him go and whispered what she said next. "I think you should go. I'll handle things here. You need to find him. If he really is…" she trailed off, "then you and Sam are the only ones who can help him."

Castiel didn't have the strength to refuse.

"I know you would do the same for me if it happened to Sam," she coaxed, her voice soft.

Castiel's eyes widened. "So after everything…getting back your powers, your memories…you still love Sam?"

Cassie smiled. "Yes. Go out into the world, find Dean. Don't worry about your grace, I'm going to find a solution. I'll handle things up here. Just help the boys."

The broken-hearted Angel didn't know how to begin to thank his sister, so he just stood very still, closed his eyes and waited for the touch that would shoot him back to Earth.

* * *

"I heard the rumors," the dark haired demon woman said. "I said no, that's can't be. A Winchester? One of _us_? But it's true, isn't it? Whatever soul you had, whatever Boy Scout code you cuddled up to at night...It's all gone. Leaving what? Look at you!"

Gone was the sweet, doting, caring and gentle Sam that Cassie knew and loved. In his place was a cold-hearted monster who didn't care that he was inflicting wounds onto a girl, demon or not. "Where is Crowley?" he asked harshly.

The demon girl breathed hard, holding back tears. "Eat me," she said.

Sam nodded, stabbing her in the side once again.

She screamed, squirming away from Sam.

Sam wasn't taking any prisoners. "One more time. Where is Crowley?"

"AAHH!" she cried as he jabbed the knife into her once more.

"Where's my brother?!" he demanded.

"I don't know!" the demon girl cried uselessly.

Sam shoved her harder against the tree she was chained to. "Then call someone who does!"

She sobbed. "No one knows. He won't answer!"

"Make the call," he insisted.

"We're under orders," she tried, saying anything to make the psycho hunter stop.

"Make the call!" He sliced her neck and allowed her blood to pool dark and dangerous into a chalice, preparing for a call. "WHERE'S MY BROTHER?!"

* * *

Cassandra summoned Joshua into the room so she could adorn her new work clothes.

She untied the torn t-shirt she'd woven around her forearms and started to lift her tank top over her head but blushed when she realized Joshua was looking at her.

"You can go now," she said with annoyance bubbling under the surface.

Joshua narrowed his eyes, offended. He wasn't used to be addressed so bluntly. "We're all brothers and sisters. We aren't humans, nudity and undressing shouldn't make you uncomfortable."

Cassandra gritted her teeth, knowing it was true. "Well, it _does_. So leave." She insisted, shooting him a glare.

Joshua shook his head, closing the door behind him.

Cassie sighed, suddenly yearning for Sam.

He was the only one who she wanted to see her like this.

She shimmied out of her jeans and slipped out of her black tank top until she was in nothing but underwear and a bra.

With reluctance and difficulty, she slipped the silky light blue blouse over her head that brought out her eyes. Next was the nude-colored pantyhose, white pencil skirt and white long sleeved suit jacket.

She looked at herself in the reflection of the shiny cherry wardrobe, sighing at herself.

The last time she'd had to put on clothes to fit a part…

She cringed as flickers of Amarandos and being tied up in his basement made their way into her mind.

Last but not least, Cassandra slipped on the black heels which made her about two inches taller. She tucked her necklace underneath her blouse so it wouldn't raise suspicion.

"I'm where I belong," she told herself, but as she said the words, only one word filled her heart.

 _Sam._

* * *

Dean bit into the woman's shoulder as she rode atop him, the scent of her sweet perfume and strawberry shampoo flooding his senses.

But it was all wrong. It didn't satisfy him the way it used to. He was receiving jolts of pleasure but it wasn't anywhere near as all-consuming and intense as getting sucked off by those damn crystal blue eyes.

He had booze and wings up to the ears in his new life, not caring about anything or anyone except himself. And sex was without a doubt one of the only ways Dean could completely lose himself.

But this busty blonde just wasn't doing it for him. It really pissed him off.

Like a trooper, even after she'd tensed and moaned through the spasms of her climax, she kept pumping her hips up and down so Dean could enjoy it as much as she had.

He closed his eyes, trying to recapture the sensations he experienced with that goddamn goody-two-shoes Angel. The more he focused, the more he felt himself building up to that sweet explosion of pleasure he craved.

But when he opened his eyes, the gaze looking down at him with attraction and shyness were hazel brown.

Pre-Cas Dean would've killed for sex like this, but Dean found himself disappointed with the experience.

He should've never fallen into Castiel's kiss. If only he could take back the night his lips danced against Castiel's, bodies intwined and interlocked until the cold numbed his fingers and the dark night shrouded their tryst.


	3. Chapter 3: Vanishing Point

Chapter 3

Vanishing Point

It had been the longest Cassandra ever sat in a chair.

The mountain of paperwork seemed endless, and despite assigning several new jobs for Heaven's reconstruction, she felt like nothing was getting accomplished.

She sighed, looking down into her lap after another Angel had left.

The hands of her vessel were small and nimble. Despite this, it had held weapons.

These had been fighting hands.

Flashes of blood and war appeared in her vision. Demon blood had a sickly sweet scent, like copper mixed with burnt sugar.

She remembered the battle cries that rang in the air, the endless clamor of screams and armor as black and red blood was sprayed across her face –

"Cassandra?"

She jumped, suddenly snapping back to reality.

It was Hannah, looking down at her in confusion. "I've been calling your name for quite a long time now."

Cassie flushed, waving her hand dismissally. "Sorry, all this ink and paper…um…I think I'll need some air soon."

Hannah scoffed. "We're in Heaven, this is the cleanest air you could breathe. Not that you need to regardless."

Cassie gritted her teeth behind her lips. "It's a figure of speech. I mean I need a change of scenery."

Hannah crossed her arms. "Where is Castiel? I need to speak with him."

Cassie was careful not to let her face betray any emotion. "I don't know. I'm his sister, not his babysitter."

 _If she knew he's out looking for Dean, it wouldn't be good. Especially if Dean's a demon._

Hannah scowled. "It's of grave importance, concerning…Metatron."

Cassie brushed a strand of hair from her face and stood up. "I'll try to get a hold of him and tell him it's urgent."

"This is very unlike him, you know," Hannah went on. "He never just disappears without telling me where he's going."

The warrior dressed up as a secretary snickered. "Oh, so _you're_ his babysitter then?"

Color rose to Hannah's cheeks. "I'm his next in command. And his most trusted colleague."

Cassie couldn't resist. Between the damn uniform, how put together Hannah looked all the time, and the overall lack of privacy she was given had gotten to her. "Actually I'm pretty sure _I_ hold the spot of most trusted colleague and next in command. Blood is thicker than water, as they say."

Hannah visibly soured. "I've never heard that expression, I'm afraid."

Cassie stepped towards the door of her new office to exit. "You should educate yourself more. It's no wonder that all it took for you all to be overpowered was a Scribe with a rock."

Hannah sighed, rubbing her temples. "We're sisters too, Cassandra. There's no reason for us not to get along. We're all on the same side."

Despite the fact this was true, Cassie's immediate instinct was to recoil from this claim. "If we're all related, can you stop giving my brother the bedroom eyes? You're not his type."

Before Cassie could leave, Hannah strutted over to her and grabbed her by the shoulder, flipping her around to stare into her eyes.

Cassie gasped, her entire body rigid with stress. She needed to go. Everything inside her was screaming to go.

"I've seen that faraway look before, sister," Hannah said, a warning in her tone. "You need to stop living in the past. You have more use to us this way than with a pair of blades."

So Cassie had struck a nerve. But Hannah had too.

Her voice was low and menacing, Cassie's icy blue eyes piercing into Hannah's. "You can make me wear a dress, put me behind a desk…you can even take away my blades. But you'll never take the war _out_ of me." Her teeth were practically bared, like a cornered animal.

"Then you better figure out a way to do it," Hannah said with gritted teeth, pushing Cassie back. "We have no use for soldiers. Adapt to the times, Cassandra. Or we won't be able to find a place for you here."

* * *

Castiel had been teleported to the Bunker. His powers were dull enough that he made it inside the door without much difficulty.

That wasn't a good thing, though.

"Sam?" he called, drifting from room to room. There were traces of inhabitants: a half-empty beer, scattered papers, prints on the floor that hadn't yet been cleaned up.

But it was clear that Sam wasn't there.

Then he called the name he really wanted to say. "Dean?" He asked, his voice cracking.

He rushed down the hall, unable to help himself.

He made it to the outside of Dean's bedroom.

"Dean?" He called a bit louder.

He stood outside his door for a few moments.

There was still so much potential in that instance. Dean could be there, restfully sneaking a nap. Or leaning over his desk, looking at old photographs.

Once he opened that door, it would dissipate.

He didn't have the heart.

He reached into his pocket and dialed Sam instead, sighing in defeat.

" _Have you heard anything from Dean?"_ Sam immediately said on the other line.

"I was about to ask you that. I'm looking for him."

" _What about Heaven?"_

Cass put his forehead against Dean's door. "Cassandra's up there buying me time."

There was a pause. "She's really fitting in up there, huh? _."  
_

Cas remembered her reaction to the pencil skirt and decided to skim over that detail. "She's a very capable soldier. I don't think there's a force in this world that could deter her."

 _Sam sighed. "Well…listen, Cas. I found a lead. There was some security footage of…of…Dean. At a gas station."  
_

Cas' heart leaped in his chest. "Are you sure it was him?"

" _Yes, I'm sure. But Cas…you're not gonna like it."_

* * *

There was a blissful contentment Dean was feeling that could only be achieved through complete and utter self-indulgence.

Sex to his heart's (and dick's) content, endless karaoke every night, and no responsibilities what so ever.

Yet even in his dreams, that damn Angel managed to leak through the cracks.

It was always the same.

Castiel was underneath him, his head thrown back in pleasure, gasping his name.

Dean was always atop him, his lips dancing on the Angel's, playing his body like a flute until Castiel emitted the most exquisite sounds.

Dean could taste him as he bit into the Angel's neck, completely claiming him as his.

Emotions would surface, of love and devotion. But they were distractions that killed his sex drive faster than cold water.

His nightly fantasy was interrupted as he woke up.

After some knocking, a door eventually opened.

It was his new partner in time, Crowley, looking at him and the blonde woman beside him with a raised eyebrow. "So I'm to assume the Giraffe and the Squirrel are no more? You could've told me, Darling."

Dean smirked lazily. "I ain't never made the two-backed-beast with a giraffe."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "If you're going to lie, you could at least _try_ to be convincing. Does blondie over there know you play for both teams?"

Dean stood up and fumbled around for his jeans. "Why are you here?"

Crowley scoffed. "It's _my_ room!"

Dean bit his lip. "Let me rephrase: why are you here _now_?"

"Second verse same as the first," Crowley insisted, averting his eyes. "And there's some business we need to discuss."

Dean shrugged. "That's too bad, cuz I'm off the clock."

"You've _been_ off the clock for _three days now_. All you've done is drink, eat every variation of buffalo wings and try to nab every hair color with your dick."

"Jealous?" Dean winked letting out a chuckle.

Crowley scowled. "I'm being serious. We have a client."

Dean turned to grab a shirt, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, freezing.

Castiel's handprint and the Mark of Cain now coexisted on his body. But which one had more influence over him?

Crowley caught him staring. "You know…I'll be honest, Dean. I'm a little concerned that your head isn't in the game. What if your little Angel comes back to fetch you? It could ruin what we have going."

Dean's gaze shifted to the scruffy Irishman behind him. "Well…" he said, his voice playful, "You said you wanted to redecorate, right?"

He slipped a hand under his pillow, withdrawing the first blade.

His eyes were black. "How does the color red sound for the walls?" 


	4. Chapter 4: Telephone

Chapter 4

Telephone

Cas slowly sunk to the ground in front of Dean's door, the energy dissipating out of his body. "So it's true then," he muttered. "Cassandra was right."

The man he loved was a demon. His soul was warped and dark, and Dean was lost to him.

Sam's voice was obviously agitated. _"Crowley's behind this, I'm sure of it. It's one of his goons parading around – "_

" –Sam, Cassie's theory is right. He's not possessed, he's…" suddenly his chest was burning and he needed to cough.

His body shook with the spasms, and it was painful.

" _Cas? What's wrong?"_ Sam's tone changed to one of concern.

"I…" he coughed again, clearing his throat. "It's nothing. Where was the footage taken? I'll meet you there."

" _Cas…"_ Sam began. _"I want you to man, but…you don't sound good."_

Cas gritted his teeth. "I need to be with you on this. Cassie's keeping busy in Heaven, giving me time to find him."

" _I know, but – "_

" - This is _Dean_ we're talking about. You _know_ how important he is to me."

There was a silence. _"Yes I do, but you can't fight Crowley's followers or travel in your condition. You need to sit this one out."_

The frustrated angel tried to reason with him, fighting tears. "Sam, if you were in my position and we were looking for my sister – "

" – _Then you'd need to tie me down with stainless steel wire to stop me. Do I have to do it to you?"_

Cas shook his head. "I still have strength left. My grace isn't completely burnt out – "

" _So you're gonna wait until it_ **is** _? What good will that do you after we've fixed this? And what about Cassie? You'd be willing to put her through losing you again?"_

Castiel groaned. "You haven't acted _any_ different in the past."

"You're right about that. But the way I've felt in the past about losing Dean…if you make Cassie feel that way because you were stupid enough to lose your life, I'd bring you back to life just to kill you."

There was a persistent throbbing in his chest now. His hand balled into a fist.

He was right. And even if Cas _was_ in fighting condition…did he really want to see Dean like this? What if Dean's transformation changed the way he felt? The mark was already starting to make him aggressive and indifferent when they made love…what if it was worse?

He paused for a moment before answering. "If you find anything…a news clip, a rumor, a missed phone call…you have to tell me, Sam."

" _Of course. I'll keep you posted."_

He hung up.

He stared at the phone screen.

Dean didn't know it, but Cas set the background to a picture of him asleep. His hair was tousled in that delicious way after he's slept on his side. His lips were parted slightly, and his face serene and peaceful.

If Angels died and went to Heaven, Castiel's heaven would be waking up next to Dean Winchester and nothing but.

Well…almost nothing else.

The leather jacket adorning ruffian who stole his heart from day one could not be gone. It just wasn't possible.

Powerless to do anything else, he made one more phone call before he lost his nerve.

* * *

If Cassandra had to spend one more hour at a desk in heels telling Angels how to do their job, she would surely find plunging her head into the friendly neighborhood paper shredding a welcome reprieve.

The sound of her phone ringing was literally a godsend.

And it was her brother.

" _Hello, sister."_

She sighed with relief. "Brother. It's so good to hear from you," she said, obvious exasperation in her voice.

Castiel was taken aback. _"Is…everything okay?"_

"Everything up here is running smoothly. It's just your personal secretary is giving me a whole new definition of hell."

There was temporary silence _. "But…you're…in Heaven."_

She pressed her fingertips to her temple and closed her eyes. "I _know_."

" _Well…I thought I would update you on Earth's events. We found Dean on some footage from a Gas N' Sip."_

Cassie swallowed, suppressing a gasp. "Do you know where?"

Castiel practically growled _. "No, because Sam...ugh. The important thing is that we found him. But…on the footage…"_

She crossed her arms, starting to pace. "Yes?"

" _Sam told me his eyes were black. You were right, Cassandra. He's a demon."_ There was obvious pain in his voice.

Cassandra had to cheer him up, even though he felt a blow to her own heart as well. Dean was the one who made the decision to keep her. He shared his mix tapes with her, she had her first beer with him, he taught her how to use a gun. He was just as much her brother as Sam's.

She bit her lip, a stinging starting to form in her throat. "I'll do everything I can up here to give you time."

" _I really appreciate you covering for me. You were always reliable to a fault."_

Cassie smiled. "Apparently so."

" _Also…by secretary, do you mean Hannah?"_

Even the sound of her name was started to irk her. "Yeah, she's been asking where you are. I told her I don't know."

Castiel sighed heavily, coughing. _"I'm sorry that I'm making you lie, sister."_

Cassandra smirked, even though he couldn't see it. "I'm not lying. It's true: I have no idea where you currently are."

Castiel scoffed. _"You put me in the Bunker, you know_ **exactly** _where I am."_

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "But I don't know _where_ in the – "

" – Cassandra, is that Castiel?" Hannah marched into her office without even knocking.

She stiffened, irritated. But Cassie already lost her cool once. She couldn't do it again, if she was to help her brother.

"Yes, I was just telling him that you were looking for him."

Hannah smiled warmly. "Thank you for informing him. Your cooperation is much appreciated."

T _hat voice was so honey coated I want to gag_ , she thought. "I'm giving him a report of today's progress and then if you like, you can talk to him."

Hannah nodded. "No problem."

And…she didn't budge.

 _That means leave,_ Cassie thought. "I also uh…want to confide some personal feelings…that are…" Cassie got red in the face trying to come up with something. "Personal."

Hannah raised an eyebrow. "Anything you have to say you can confide to me as well."

 _I'm not going to get anywhere._ Cassie sighed and handed the phone to her. "Know how to use it?"

Hannah stared at it blankly.

Cassie took a deep breath. "Put it up to your face and talk." _In other words, do what you do ordinarily but with this time to someone who actually cares._

Hannah grabbed it with some hesitation and listened for a voice. "Hello, Castiel. I know you must be in the middle of something important, but I need your help. _Heaven_ needs your help."

Cassie strained to listen without making it obvious.

Hannah continued on as she paced. "Most of the angels who fell during the fall have returned to heaven. A few have not."

Cassie fiddled with her hair, pulling it back up into a bun, trying to look occupied.

"Some out and out refuse. Rogues. Two of them have killed one of our own for only attempting to bring them back home."

Cassie pursed her lips. She could sympathize with these angels. Somehow she didn't think that Hannah and her colleagues had been _polite_ in their attempts to _"bring the rogues home."_

She was about two seconds from going rogue herself and she'd only been working for a day.

"Daniel and Adina."

Cassie flinched. She knew who they were.

"They must be found. They must be brought home and they _must_ be punished for the sake of all. Will you help me?"

There was a pause.

Cassie remained dead silent. Hannah couldn't know Cas was at the bunker.

"I'll meet you there." Hannah said, and gave the phone back to Cassandra.

She hung it up, and looked up to Hannah. "How come you didn't approach _me_ with this mission?"

Hannah held her head up high. "You were reluctant to give me _intel._ What reason would I have to think that you would be willing to embark on a reconnaissance mission if paper work is a strain for you?"

As much as Cassie wanted to punch her out for saying that, she kept her face neutral. "Out in the field is where I'm most effective."

Hannah smiled. "On the contrary, you've done very well here for your first day. I think you may have even found your niche among us. I'll discuss with the others if we couldn't make this your permanent position."

Cassie glared. "You don't actually believe that, do you?"

Hannah scanned Cassie's face. "You're a cunning warrior, Cassandra. You always have been. But you're itching for a fight and desire does not always equate efficiency."

 _You bitch_ , Cassie couldn't help thinking. "You know my brother is weak because of his fading grace. The last thing he needs is a strenuous expedition like this."

Hannah began to exit out of the office. "You're quite right. That kind of information would have been useful earlier in my decision-making. Perhaps If I'd been made aware of his situation, I would've asked you."

Once the door slammed behind her, Cassie took of her heel and threw it at the door. "God give me strength," she gritted through her teeth.

But then a thought occurred to her. If Hannah was going to be gone with Castiel on a mission…

She immediately dialed her phone, huffing and puffing.

Thank god he answered. _"Cassie?"_

The sound of Sam's voice, even over a device, was soothing. "I got off the phone with Cas. He's going with Hannah on a mission. Where's Dean?"

" _I went to the gas n sip where he…well, stabbed a guy to death and the cashier gave me the dead guy's phone. Turns out it was a demon. On of Abaddon's followers trying to kill Dean, but it backfired."_

"That's what was on the security camera?"

" _Yeah. I used dead guy's phone to call Crowley. I traced it to a bar in Beulah North Dakota called the Black Spur."_

Finally, they were getting somewhere. "You think Dean is there with him?"

" _He is,"_ Sam said, an undertone of anger apparent.

Cassie grabbed her heel and stormed out her office door. "I'll get him. Meet me at the Bunker."

"You're gonna get him by yourself?"

Cassie sighed. "Sam…" she trailed off.

She knew this was going to be a process. Sam was so hardwired to protect her that he always reverted back to this instinctive impulse. It would take a while for him to adjust to the new "Cassie."

But she wasn't someone who needed protecting anymore.

Sam sighed. "Right. I…I know you can handle yourself, I just…I miss you, and I worry."

The sense of confinement was starting to get to her. Even if she got out of this damn office, Sam's natural desire would be to hide her in the bunker whenever trouble came a-knockin'.

Cassie envisioned Dean. Laughing it up, drinking himself into a stupor and playing pool while her brother was killing himself trying to find him.

It set a fire in her heart. "The one you should be worried about is your brother," she said.

* * *

Dean was sitting at the bar counter, not entirely surprised but nevertheless annoyed. " _You_ sent those demons to kill me?"

Crowley's expression gave the vibe that what he was saying was obvious. "To keep you sharp."

 _Sharp. Hm. Well, how's stabbing a guy to death and taking his nudie mag for sharp?_ "Really?" H asked instead.

Crowley was parental and condescending. "If it weren't for me sending demon-chum your way what do you think would've happened? The mark needs to be sated, otherwise – "

And then Dean knew the rest of the story. " – Otherwise, it'll turn me into a demon." _Yeah a little late for that there, Boy-o._ "Yeah. Yeah, I sorta got that _six weeks ago_."

Six weeks. Even though he'd had all the sex in the world, he hadn't experienced satisfying sex for _six weeks._

The thought was depressing. He took a swig from his beer to drown out the thought.

Crowley threw his hands up. "Just trying to help."

Dean smiled ironically. _Help my ass._ "You _lied_ ," he said.

Crowley's expression showcased disbelief. "Who do you think you're talking to here? Does the tin man have a sheet-metal willy? Of _course_ I lied."

On one hand, was it such a surprise that a demon told a lie? No. But the very idea that Crowley had done anything that could've potentially ended the eternal merry go round he was currently on, was enough to piss him off. He got up to leave the bar counter.

"Hey," Crowley began. "Sit down."

Dean ignored him.

"Sit," Crowley said again, making Dean turn around.

Sit? He thought to himself. That's something you tell a dog, not a partner in crime.

He gave Crowley a once over.

Crowley rolled his eyes and backtracked. "I need to keep you sharp for our future. About which we need to talk."

The only future he was thinking about was whether he wanted to play darts or foosball before he had either a John Adams or Captain Morgan. "Our future?" Dean asked.

"Our _professional_ future," the demon clarified, glancing away. "How to put this," he began, and then Dean knew he was in for it.

His new wife was ready to bitch.

"If I have to spend one more night in this fetid petri dish of broken dreams and B.O., I will cut off my own face." His eyes were furious.

At the moment, the prospect delighted him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, shaking his head. "Cause I'm good. Hell, I'm… _great."_

"Really?" Crowley asked. "How many suicide wings _can_ you eat?"

Oh, here we go, Dean thought, nothing but smiles as Crowley continued.

"How many one-hit-wonders can you karaoke to death?"

But he'd had enough of all this whining and bitching. "Okay," he sat back down, "so the deal _was,_ we howl at the moon. No time stamp, no expiration date."

Without missing a beat, Crowley had a counter argument. ""We howled. We've bayed. W'we've done extraordinary things to triplets, all of which have been massively entertaining, I will treasure our flickr albums _forever._ "

Dean drank some more beer, prepping himself for the rest of Crowley's tirade.

"But now it's time for us to accept what we are, and go back to work."

 _Work?_ He thought about all the alcohol he could consume, all the bar sports he could partake in, all the women he could bed without consequences or attachments and quickly made a decision. "Pass," he said, the sip from his beer all the sweeter.

Crowley continued on with a spiel about how they could rule together, make the perfect hell yada yada yada, and move the party to a new location.

But basically none of it registered.

Until Crowley got up and said something else over his shoulder.

"Oh, and did I forget to mention…I spoke to Moose earlier."

Dean froze. Shit. His damn little brother that he hadn't thought about in weeks. A fucking walking moral compass that he did not want to deal with right now.

Plus a small part of him didn't really want his brother's face at the business end of the first blade.

Dean couldn't help but turn around. "What?"

Crowley gave off an aura of indifference, but Dean knew he loved to stir the pot. "Uh, apparently he's been tracking us for some time now. He got my text from the cell of that demon that you stabbed in… blah blah bah," he mercifully skimmed over. "It was…words were spoken. Emotions."

 _Jesus Christ just get to the point,_ he thought but held his tongue.

"In retrospect I realize, perhaps too many words, too many emotions…"

Dean knew it before he said it. "He traced the call," he said, barely containing his rage and annoyance.

Great. He'd almost forgotten that he'd had a shitty thirty plus years of fighting monsters alongside his dog loving computer geek of a brother. But two months of being shitfaced couldn't make you forget everything, unfortunately.

Like those damn blue eyes…

Not to mention Sam had a woman now, so what did he need _him_ for? Why was he still trying to find him? As far as Dean was concerned, he was a nuisance. Rain on his parade.

"My bad," Crowley provided unhelpfully. "I guess he'll be here by morning at the latest."

So the party was over regardless of if he agreed to Crowley's plan or not. This First Blade shit was starting to attract more trouble than it was worth. "You sold me out. Well, that's just _lovely_."

Crowley stared at him in disbelief. "I don't know what's going on with you. I truly don't. But I've had just about enough of it."

And it was at that moment Dean chose to tune out everything else Crowley said after that.

Despite himself, his thoughts went to Sam, and Cassie, and…

 _Him._

The blue eyes and wild dark brown hair he refused to name.

He even considered bedding some of the men he'd seen around here, but none of them met up with his standards.

None of them awakened his desire.

Maybe that Anne Marie could do something about his rising desire…

Author's Note: Real quick, just wanted to let you know I'm finally building a Playlist/Soundtrack on Youtube of all the songs I mentioned. If anyone is interested, I'll message them the link in private messenger or if you guys want, I can just post the link here somewhere. I'll be updating soon! 3

-Xero Sanity


	5. Chapter 5: Steam

Author's Note: Okay! Playlist is on YouTube.

Just look up my name Alexis Balmaceda and click on the playlist "The Heart of An Angel." If I've missed any songs, please let me know and I'll add them. As the story goes on, I'm sure I'll have to add new songs anyway as I include them in _The Life of An Angel._ Happy reading! And I apologize for any typos, I have an eye infection in one eye, so my vision is bleh lol

Chapter 5

Steam

The night was quiet except for chirping crickets and Castiel's light snores. Hannah couldn't help smiling, despite herself.

Angels weren't supposed to feel this way. But she did.

She loved Castiel, and not just his vessel. His gentle, loving spirit, his selflessness, and even his feeling of inadequacy.

Because of how humble he was, Castiel was the one one of them who could ever hope to lead the Angels into a new age of peace.

She gently took his trench coat in her hands and gingerly draped it over his slumbering form, so as not to wake him.

At first, she was content to watch him sleep, the little human girl asleep on the couch next to him.

But then there was a buzzing.

Her eyes narrowed, honing in on a spot that lit up inside Castiel's coat pocket.

She flushed with color, knowing what she was about to do was wrong. But…

With deft fingers, she grabbed the phone out of his pocket.

There was a message on the front. "We got him."

From Cassandra, no less.

When she pressed the red button to exit to the main screen, she stared in shock.

Bile immediately rose in her throat and her fingers trembled with a flash of hatred.

The screen displayed a photograph of no one other than Dean Winchester.

He too, was asleep, obviously undressed but covered with a bedsheet, adorning an expression of complete bliss.

She put the phone back in his pocket, stepping away and clutching her own wrist as if to rub off this feeling that had washed over her.

Why would Castiel have such a picture? Let alone use it as the main screen for his speaking device?

 _Obviously so he could look at it quite often_ , she thought, and gritted her teeth in envy. Cassandra's words flashed in her mind. _You're not his type._

So what _was_ his type? Human? Male? Obviously not a being of intelligence. What did a lowly human have that she _didn't_ have?

But then again…there were things she felt so clueless about ever since coming to Earth. Even Castiel saw how out of place she was when she interacted with humans.

Hannah swallowed awkwardly, rubbing her hands down her jacket.

In Heaven, she was the woman in charge. No one questioned her authority. She was sure of herself, and her purpose. But on Earth, all it took was a misunderstood joke or an incomprehensible figure of speech to disarm her and make her feel useless.

Even so…was this gun-toting unkept watering hole regular really the one Castiel pined for?

She stared at Castiel's pocket again, where the phone was.

Somehow, she knew that message was about Dean.

Hannah couldn't help but flush with anger.

She was the only one good enough to be at Castiel's side. She was loyal, strong, dedicated to their cause, and flawless in dealing justice. She was the textbook example of what an Angel should be. Only _She_ was capable of caring for their leader in his weakened state, managing the new regime and keeping everyone in line.

Even his sister was too impulsive. Her attachment to humans was clouding her judgment. Not to mention she's stuck in the dark ages when they wore armor and sandals instead of Ralph Lauren and Chanel. She needed to get with the times and stow her barbaric ways.

She clenched her teeth.

But at the very least, Cassandra _was_ an Angel, like them.

Dean Winchester wasn't even considered highly among others of his _own kind._ That ape didn't deserve to be in Castiel's presence, let alone the center of his attention and devotion.

There was only one thing she could do.

Hannah held her breath, willing herself to be quieter than the smallest mouse.

She slipped the phone back out with minimal effort.

She drew from her vessel's memories as to how these devices worked.

Once she'd gotten into messages, Hannah deleted the latest one from Cassandra and put the phone back.

Castiel shifted on the sofa and cleared his throat, rousing himself from sleep.

Hannah froze taking a step backward.

"Is something wrong?" Castiel asked, seeing her expression.

Hannah bit her lip and shook her head. "No, everything's fine…you just…looked cold."

* * *

Once she sent that message Cassandra immediately beamed herself to the Black Spur.

She marched into a beer-stained hole in the wall wearing a white pencil skirt and sky blue blouse.

Everyone turned around to stare at her, like in the movies.

But she was too pissed and pent up to care.

This pack of North Dakota townies had nothing on an army of demons.

"Lizzy! So glad you could finally make it. Though I'm afraid this isn't an Earl-Grey type of place…my apologies."

Cassie turned but then flinched and looked away just as quickly.

She could see his demon face.

It was the first one she'd seen since the battlefield.

Crowley beckoned her over. "Come come, Darling, let's get you a chair."

As everyone turned back around to minding their own business, she strutted over, her eyes cast downwards. "Where's Dean, Crowley," she asked.

Crowley took a sip from his crystal glass of scotch. "He's…busy."

She immediately slammed her angel blade on the table. "Listen, you English piece of shit - "

" –First of all, I'm Scottish. I'm drinking a _scotch_ for Chrissakes. Second, I'm a demon, yet you have a bigger problem with my country of origin than – "

"I HAVE BEEN IN THE OFFICE ALL DAY, AND I AM DYING TO SLICE AND DICE SOMEONE! So for the love of god, Crowley – "

" – Which being a demon, I do not have…"

She nicked her blade across his face.

"AAH! Why the face?!" He gritted his teeth. "You know, you ought to show some gratitude. Unless you've already forgotten? If it weren't for me you'd still be crawling on the floor sharing a body with that 90210 reject."

She pointed the tip of her blade between his eyes. "Five seconds. Where's Dean."

"Why?" His gravelly voice was less confident now.

"Because if he's doing what I think he's doing, I'm gonna kill him," she stated plainly.

Crowley smirked. "In that case, he's upstairs. If you could off him before Karaoke night starts, I'd consider us even."

She withdrew her dagger and immediately headed for the stairs.

Crowley couldn't help watching her go.

Once you put her into some decent clothes, Cassandra was a looker.

* * *

He tried.

He tried so fucking hard.

He buried his face into her neck, but it was soft, not rough with stubble.

He breathed her in, and instead of smelling like a mixture of the impala's interior and natural musk, she smelled like apples and vanilla.

The moans coming out of her were high pitched and feminine, not rumbling and deep.

It just wasn't working.

Dean pulled away, his libido dying rapidly.

The girl looked up at him, confused. "What, too redundant?" She said with a lazy smile.

But her smile changed to an expression of fear. "Oh my god!" She screamed, backing up against the bed frame.

Dean turned around, sitting upright on his knees.

From the bed, he saw them.

The eyes that had been in his dreams for months.

Clear blue, piercing and bright, like looking into a pond and seeing the bottom instead of your reflection.

But when his eyes traveled down the form that accompanied them, the body didn't match.

It was a petite and curvy figure. Shapely legs that ended in stilettos, and a blade dangling from each fist.

Her name was on his lips but he bit it back.

She looked like she had words to say too but at the sight of Anne Marie, they seemed to die.

Dean brushed his hair back with his hand and hopped off the bed. "Well hey, don't be jealous…I never said you couldn't join us, Sweetheart."

She looked like she wanted to throw up. "This…is where you've been…this entire time? While my brother has been wasting away, spending every last ounce of his energy looking for you…you've been…you've…" Her lip was quivering, but Dean couldn't tell if it was with emotion or rage.

But her eyes cleared it up for him.

Pure, firey rage.

"I bet you haven't even said his name," she growled.

Dean's jaw tensed and he frowned, his playful demeanor gone. "Look, I had a mother. I don't need another woman nagging me to go home to Brother Sammy and the Missus."

She dropped a blade to punch him in the face.

It was so fast Dean didn't even see it coming.

It didn't hurt as much as he was expecting, but if he wasn't a Demon, he knew it would've hurt like hell.

"My brother is DYING! Do you understand that, Dean?! Castiel, _the man you love_ is killing himself over you! And for what?"

The sharp consonants of his name immediately brought back memories of hot makeout sessions and nights of tangled limbs. "I told Sam not to look for me. I didn't ask your brother to go on a wild goose chase."

"Um…excuse me…did she just say the _man_ you love? Are you...?" Anne Marie's eyes darted between the strange woman and the man she'd been screwing for the past few weeks.

Dean scowled. No. This was not the deal. He was not supposed to be found, especially not by her. Sammy was one thing, but his damn girlfriend…

She was too much like him. Like the man in his backseat.

He took a good look at her. "You being here doesn't make sense," he suddenly said, reeling in his emotions.

She was staring into his eyes, but at the same time her gaze flickered in and out of focus, as if she were seeing two things at once and trying to differentiate them.

The best part about being a demon was it did wonders for his thinking processes.

"You're all dressed up for Brunch in the Garden of Eden yet you're all the way down here, fetching me on Sammy's behalf? It doesn't add up."

"Then check your math," Cassie said, kicking him down to the ground.

Okay, _that_ hurt. He thudded down, coughing. "I'm pretty sure your shoe left a puncture somewhere," he said, laughing just to spite her.

She ignored it. "I'm taking you home. You can't just run away. Not from us." She glared down at him.

"You know, I kinda like this new Cassandra. It's hot," he said in a husky voice. "But as sexy as you are in a pencil skirt...the broad I know would have died before letting me see her like this. So it begs the question - "

" - Believe me, the second I get the chance to change out of this thing I'm going to burn it and put on some actual clothes." But they were getting off track. "I didn't get all dressed up just for you, and I sure as hell didn't heal you and try to bring you back from death so you could spend your time nailing any piece of tail you could get your hands on."

Dean glanced over at Anne Marie and shrugged. "If it makes ya feel any better, it's only been the one girl, minus strippers. But hey...we cna remedy that." His smile was cool, calm and relaxed.

It was an effort not to gag. In response, she pulled out her necklace from under her shirt.

The anti-demon possession pendant Sam had given her.

Loyal to a fault.

"Aw, that's too bad," he said, shaking his head. "'Cuz I bet I could get you off _real_ good."

She pointed the tip of her blade at his face, not responding.

"You can't fool me," he said in a soft voice, propping himself up on his elbows. "I've seen the signs, Sweetheart. You had weapons in your hands before you even came in. This isn't about me, and you know it."

Cassie swallowed and flushed. "I'm here to bring your insolent ass to Sam so he can beat you for being so stupid," She countered, not backing down.

But Dean knew he had her. "I can feel how pent-up you are. They don't let you get outta the office much upstairs, huh? You've been needing to blow off steam… _badly_."

Some part of Cassie was singing, aching to be in a good fight. Despite herself, her body trembled.

"You've been able to see it this whole time, haven't you? My face. My _real_ face. You know what I am," he said, his eyes sparkling with defiance. "That's why you couldn't talk to me for five minutes without slugging me in the face. Do I remind you of anyone? Maybe, someone, you slaughtered in your past?"

He grinned when she had to look away and take a deep breath.

"Well hey…if going at it helps you work out some Demon-War PTSD shit then I'm all for it." His voice was coaxing and seductive as he stood back up.

Anne Marie took this opportunity to dart out of the room and run down the stairs.

His gaze never wavered from Cassie's. "Listen, I get it. The thing about having this mark…it makes me crave it too. Blood. The Kill. Running my blade through something gets me off better than sex, these days. So if we can satisfy each _other's_ needs…why not? We don't have to tell Sammy…" he whispered, laughing.

Cassie gritted her teeth, clutching Suan Ywe Gou and returning her gaze to glare at him. "We can cure you. I read it in the Men of Letters files. There's a way to cure a demon."

"Well yeah…" Dean said, reverting back to his seductive tone. "But who said I _wanna_ be cured? I'm having the time of my life! Karaoke every night, sex without having to go through all that "I love you" bull crap and all the wings I can eat."

Cassie's eyes widened in shock. "So this is what you want. Your deepest desire. To drink yourself under a table every night for the rest of your life, singing the same awful songs over and over and trying to scratch yourself around Crowley's Leash?"

Dean laughed. "Yeah you're right, I was starting to get fed up with that douchebag. But then you came along…All wrapped up in a pretty little package..." he stepped slowly closer until they were almost chest to chest. "Mine for the taking."

"I'm not yours," she said firmly. "I belong to Sam."

He smirked. "As an agent of Heaven, you're not supposed to belong to anybody," he countered.

Color rose to her cheeks but she stood by her words. "All the same, I do."

"Don't tell me you don't want to," Dean said dangerously, pulling out the First Blade from his back pocket. "Whadaya say, Sweetheart? _I_ can get down with the sickness… _can you give in to me?_ "

She didn't hesitate.


	6. Chapter 6: Recklessness

Chapter 6

Recklessness

The road was unusually quiet. Except for the occasional street lamp, the night was pitch black. If there was a lake two feet to the right, Sam wouldn't have seen it.

Sam was supposed to meet Cassie at the Bunker…but…

He couldn't help himself.

He'd jacked a car and started heading to the Black Spur.

 _I don't want her to be alone_ , he thought to himself.

He was _not_ being overprotective. He wasn't. When Dean was still himself, they always hunted together. _You need a partner on a hunt._

Images flashed through his mind. The sweet girl curled up against him in her sleep, how she'd limped around the Bunker after she was shot by Magnus, her tears after the first time they'd made love…

He gritted his teeth, taking a deep breath.

All he wanted was to press her against a very sturdy brick wall and kiss her until her soft, supple lips were sore and her cheeks were flushed pink.

But Cassie wasn't the same person she'd been. She wasn't vulnerable and weak anymore.

Sam bit his lip. That didn't matter. His feelings hadn't changed.

Her words rang in his head.

 _I'll never find love like this, again, Sam._

The way she'd cling to his arm and snuggled into his side.

 _You're my first and only._

Her tousled brown hair.

 _I don't remember my angel life but if I did, it would still be true._

The sight of her in that shimmering blue dress.

 _You're the only man I've ever loved and I want to stay with you forever._

And now, as an Angel, she said she wasn't supposed to feel anything for him. A servant of God didn't waste their affections on a lowly human. Cassie was feeling conflicted, even though she'd promised her feelings wouldn't change.

Well _his_ sure as hell hadn't changed. And he was going to prove that the way he felt meant more than her heavenly duties.

He looked down the dark road, trying not to think about what time it was.

Sam didn't think she had Dean _already._

Despite the fact it was possible that she was a more competent hunter than he was, that did nothing to sooth the knot in his stomach.

Meeting her at the Black Spur was the right thing to do. Not to mention it just made sense. Cassie was an angel now, so she'd have a hard time even getting into the bunker because of all the wards.

He was _not_ being overbearing. Cassie was most likely capable of fetching Dean all by herself…but it wouldn't kill her to have some back up.

His thoughts were interrupted when the car started to stutter.

"Dammit," Sam muttered under his breath as the lights started to blink.

He tried to continue, but the car was slowing down on its own accord.

Even though it was late at night and he was by himself, he had no choice but to stop the car and check on the engine.

He unbuckled, stepped out and shrugged his coat closer around his broad shoulders, bristling involuntarily in the cold.

No more than a few moments later, the car behind him made its way down the lane and stopped moving once it reached Sam.

A pang of danger hit Sam instinctively. One hand went to the gun at his side.

He put an arm up in front of his face, trying to see over the bright head lights.

There was a car door slam and an individual making his way towards him.

The footsteps were slow and measured. Just a regular human. A man.

"Hey," Sam said pleasantly, still guarded.

As the man came into the light from his own car, he asked, "Need some help?"

"Uhhh…" Sam cast his eyes downward. He didn't really know much about cars. This was why Dean was always…

But that thought process died faster than the engine in his car.

"Yeah, I think so," he admitted, swallowing. "It just died on me."

The guy raised an eyebrow. "Out _here_?" he smirked. "Your ride really has it out for you, huh?"

He seemed like a nice enough guy. Sam chuckled softly. "I guess so."

Sam stared at the hood of the car, at a loss.

 _Even if I look back here, I have no idea what I'd be looking for…_

"Need a hand with that?" the man asked.

Sam hesitated, but eventually gave in. "Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

The man shot him a sideways glance. "These new cars and their computerized brains, huh? One zero outta place and the whole thing just goes kaput."

The man looked about Sam's age, if not a little younger. Sam laughed.

The man pointed to a small silver box with yellow wire and red light.

"That right there's your problem," the man said.

Sam wasn't familiar with car engines, but he was sure _that_ thing wasn't supposed to be there. "What the hell is that?"

"Well, that's a kill switch. This here is the remote."

* * *

Cassie's encounter with Metatron had been a warm up.

But Dean was a whole other animal.

He'd been combat-fit since he was 12. His reflexes were flawless and now that he was a demon with the only weapon on earth that could actually kill her, he should've been unstoppable.

But this little cock tease was able to match him blow for blow.

He tried to knock her off balance by jabbing his knee into her back but she leaped onto his shoulders and did a flip over them until she was on her feet, facing his back.

She'd gotten a slash into his shoulders, but it was already healing.

She gritted her teeth. _Fuck_. That's right, Suan Ywe Gou won't work on him.

Cassie didn't question whether she actually wanted to hurt him or not.

All she knew was she had just engaged in a fight.

And Cassandra the Dual Wielder did not lose a battle. Ever.

As she landed punches and Dean swung at her in vain, she wished that the human part of her was fighting him out of emotional distress.

He was cheating on Castiel. Her broken brother who was doing everything he could to find Dean, even if it meant running down his Grace.

The man who'd been like a brother to her had betrayed them in every way that was possible.

He who took her into his home, gave Cassie her first beer, sang to AC/DC with her in the Impala…It was all replaced with this douchebag that was somehow, still him.

She got a punch in, quickly darting out of the way before he could return it.

He'd taught her how to use a gun, patched her up when she was shot, and almost broke down when she cooked Christmas dinner for them.

The sweet, scarred man she knew had horrifically turned into a Grade-A Asshole, with zero emotion or inhibitions.

But that wasn't why she was fighting him.

"Admit it!" He exclaimed, laughing with a growl in his throat. "You're enjoying this. I'm getting you off more than sex to a Barry White album."

His words didn't reach her. The blood in the veins of her vessel was running hot and fast. Her breathing had become uneven and sporadic. There was a ring of fire in her eyes as she slashed at him like he was just another opponent.

But a slash to Dean's face set him over the edge. "Alright, Sweetheart…no more games. You want a fight? You've got one."

And with one fell swoop he swung an arm into her stomach, knocking her to the ground.

She maintained a firm grip on her weapons but now she was on the ground.

Not good.

The worst was the way he was looming over her.

And he didn't try to fight her. He just had her pinned and was staring, smirking.

Cassie's eyes widened in shock when his face kept changing.

It was like a badly spliced film reel, images flickering between Dean's face and the demon face.

Suddenly she was hearing war cries, and her brothers and sisters dying.

Cassie was strong enough to overpower him. She kicked up with both her legs, hitting Dean in the stomach and forcing him to tumble off of her.

But it was too late.

Her eyes were glossy, going in and out of focus. She was breathing hard and gripping her blades so tightly her knuckles were white.

She didn't know _when_ she was anymore. She heard the clamoring of armor and metal ringing in her ears instead of the laughter found in bars.

Dean was just laughing. "Oh man, that was fun. That's the most action I've had in _weeks_."

She was drowning. She couldn't get enough air. The sounds of battle were overwhelming her.

Cassie clamped her eyes shut, trying to find a lifeline to pull her to the surface.

"Looks like your Grace got a little banged up before it was returned. You don't happen to have a warranty on that thing, do ya?" Dean grinned, crossing his arms over himself in triumph.

She was stuck. Blurring sights were coming into focus, but she was on a grassy plain somewhere on Earth, and the smell of blood stung her throat.

There was an arrow in her chest, and miraculously it was causing her vessel to lose blood.

She was dying.

In reality, Dean was waiting for the punch line. "Listen, Sweetheart…as fun as this's been…I gotta get goin'. Brother Dearest is probably on his way here, and as you know…Sammy tends to be a wet blanket when it comes to parties."

Cassie crumbled to the floor on her knees, dropping her weapons with a loud metallic clang and placing her hands over her ears, scrunching her eyes shut.

If she could just block everything out…surely her mind would clear…

"Angel or not…" Dean said in a low, grumbling tone, "You've never encountered anything like me before."

Dean grabbed Suan Ywe Gou and her Angel Blade from the floor and walked off, leaving the room.

* * *

The rain started to pour as Castiel drove with Hannah in the direction of the sandbox to take her back.

"We have to report this," she said, averting her eyes.

Castiel scoffed. "And say _what_? Things got out of control?" He regretted going on this mission in the first place. The whole thing had been a waste of time when he could've been trying to get Dean back. "Another Angel has died."

Hannah immediately responded with, "He was going to _kill_ me, Castiel."

 _The only reason for that is because you provoked them into being defensive._ "They just wanted to be left alone," he chided, keeping his eyes on the road.

Hannah tried to simplify it to get Castiel to understand. "Without rules, there is chaos," her voice was firm. "Out of Chaos rise angels like Naomi, Bartholomew…" her voice was bitter. "Metatron."

It was a good point, but Castiel sighed. "Well…perhaps I've been down here with them for too long."

Understatement of the century.

Eating at diners, hearing gang argue over what song to play on the stereo…being made love to until the sun rose with Dean…his judgment was completely turned up onto its head.

His first couples' spat with Dean came to mind.

 _You're really this desperate, Dean? I told you I'd come to you. I know you needed me. I left something very important and I come here to find you with Crowley?!_

And his second one.

 _It's always a fucking roller coaster with you!_

 _And now you're looking at me like I'm some kind of freak!_

 _I'm not Sam when he was tripping on Demon Blood, or you when you were filled to the brim with leviathans, I'm just me!_

And the third.

 _Hypocrisy should be one the deadly sins._

"There's seemingly nothing _but_ chaos," he admitted, recounting his own past experiences. "But not all bad comes from it."

Cassie singing on Christmas morning. "Art," he said.

The moment Sarah was picking up signals on Angel Radio. "Hope," he said softly.

His first kiss with Dean, the necklace around his sister's neck. "Love."

The way Dean twitched in his sleep and mumbled. "Dreams."

Castiel's heart raced with these truths. And suddenly he realized how badly he wanted it all back.

Hannah's voice startled him from these feelings. "But…those are _human_ things," she pointed out.

Castiel turned to face her, unsure of what to say.

Could he tell her that they'd become his? That the love he had for his newfound family took precedence?

He stared into her eyes, knowing what she wanted him to say. That hopes and dreams were meaningless to them, and he'd just leave it to the humans on earth to fall in love and hope for their dreams to come true.

But he couldn't do that. "Yes," he finally resigned to say, looking back to the road.

Hannah hugged herself. Was Castiel admitting that he was becoming human? That he too, harbored these feelings?

She glanced down at his pocket where she knew his phone would be.

She scowled, deciding not to reply.

Well, maybe she had hopes and dreams too.

Maybe she loved Castiel, and she hoped for a future with him. Where they could rule Heaven together, side by side.

But that couldn't happen without Dean Winchester being gone.

Hannah used Angel radio to send Cassandra a message.

 _I have a mission for you._


	7. Chapter 7: Complication

**Hey guys! So I'll be honest, I've been really caught up in college courses and multiple jobs so I haven't written anything in a very long time. I'm a bit rusty at this, so if it sucks, I apologize. But I'm gonna give it a shot, because you guys deserve it, and so does this story.**

 **-Xero**

Chapter 7

The King of Hell entered the room to see Cassie, half dressed, writhing on the floor as though she were having a seizure.

"Huh," he muttered to himself. "So... angels can have PTSD. Who would've thought?" He nudged her with his foot. "Wake up, Lizzie," he said softly, like he was rousing a slumbering child.

She whimpered in response, her teeth clenched, and her eyes misty with unshed tears, her whole body clenched tight in a ball.

Crowley furrowed his brow. None of this made sense. Cassandra was an angel, but she was exuding emotions, pain, trauma...these were all human attributes.

Angels weren't supposed to feel this at all. _None_ of this.

He rolled his eyes. This wasn't going to work. He needed this white winged woman to be in one piece if she was gonna be of any use to him.

"I'm not asking," he said more firmly.

He didn't have time for this.

Crowley bent down on his knee to her level, pressing his thumb and pointer finger to her forehead.

Finally, her eyes cleared, and she snapped out of it.

She looked up at him, the echoes of battle and blood still in her gaze and she slowly rose to sitting position.

She was still in survival mode. Her eyes darted across the room, to a pair of jeans in a crumpled heap on the floor, completely ignoring Crowley's presence.

The Angel quickly darted over to them, clutching them like they were water jugs in a desert. "Turn around," she said, her voice low and her tone dangerous.

Crowley sighed, rolling his eyes, but did as he was told.

She had her skirt off and the jeans on in half a minute.

"We have business," He said, turning back around once he heard the ruffling of clothes stop. "I held up my end of the bargain, now it's your turn."

She was in a light blue blouse and jeans, barefoot, tying her hair back into a long braid. "Damn straight we do," she said, glaring at him. "You turned my brother's boyfriend into a demon."

Crowley held his hands up. "I didn't know they were an item," he said, his face the picture perfect image of "have mercy, I surrender."

"Bullshit," she spat, crossing her arms. "You turned Dean into your black-eyed bitch and now he's banging anything that moves."

Crowley smirked. "To be fair, he was doing that _before_ any of this Mark of Cain business," he mumbled. "But let's focus on the positive. You're alive, and yourself, the only owner of that..." His eyes went up and down her body, but not in a sexual way, more like he was assessing the quality of an object, "property," he cleared his throat, "And your precious would-have-been-brother-in-law is alive, as opposed to six feet under."

She scoffed. "it's not like he hasn't been dead before. Dead I could've fixed."

"Except you didn't," Crowley pointed out, making her grit her teeth.

He noticed her tense up. "That's what's really got you smog in the nog, isn't it? That you did your best to save him and you couldn't?"

Cassie swallowed, balling up her fist. "Where is he?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Ah, that's where you come in, Love," he said. "I need you to fetch him for me. He's run off, and I need him to come back. See... in the absence of the rest of his _posse,"_ he began, stating to pace around the room, "he's blossomed as my partner. We're more iconic than Bonnie and Clyde. But Clyde can't be Clyde without his Bonnie, now can he?"

She scowled. "You aren't partners. He's hired muscle with trigger happy tendencies."

Crowley shrugged. "He's been quite useful to me as of late. Our arrangement was really working."

"Lies," she said immediately, shaking her head. "You're an idiot for thinking you had control over Dean Winchester at all in the first place. The worst thing you could've done was turn him into a demon. Now he's Dean Winchester, but _without a moral code._ Jeez, stopping the apocalypse turned out to be for nothing, because you just set loose a rabid dog that can't die."

Crowley was losing patience. Everything she was saying was right. He'd been a handful these past few months and putting up with him was turning out to be a higher price for his abilities than he'd been counting on. He had a customer who needed someone killed, and now he's run off to hell-knows-where, and he's short a piece on the board.

Just because Dean was a demon, that didn't make him any easier to handle.

In fact if anything it had just made him worse.

Cassie grew flushed in the face as a message on Angel Radio came through. The words were sinister as they echoed in her mind.

 _I have a mission for you._

It was Hannah's voice.

"Fetching him for you is going to be a little complicated," Cassie said, staring at the floor, looking defeated.

Crowley frowned, growing irritated. "And why is that, Lizzie?"

She bit her lip, letting out a sigh of disgruntlement. "Because I've just been ordered to kill him." She looked at him with an expression of _now what do we do?_

~.~

Dean twirled around Suan Ywe Gou in his left hand as he held the steering wheel with his right.

This blade had a lot of history.

It didn't belong in the hands of an Angel.

He didn't turn on any music, just zoned out to the sound of the pouring rain and the wind shield wipers as he drove. The rushing water and consistency of the sounds in the darkness blocked out anything he would have to deal with.

The First Blade and Cassie's Angel Blade were resting on the passenger seat, where Sam usually sat.

Or Cas.

Despite the fact he'd won that battle, Cassandra's words had gotten into his head.

 _My brother is DYING! Do you understand that, Dean?! Castiel,_ _ **the man you love**_ _, is killing himself over you! And for what?_

He'd been taking pleasure from that woman...Anne Marie...doing his best to enjoy his newfound freedom, but no matter how hard he tried, it just didn't do it for him. Not like...

He opened his phone, looking down.

He hadn't bothered to change the screensaver.

Castiel, his Angel, sprawled across Dean's pillows, sound asleep.

Surprisingly, despite being a demon, the image still tugged at his heart, reminding him of happier times.

Waking up with Castiel in his arms, the smell of his shampoo in that jet black hair, the scratch of his stubble when they nuzzled and kissed each other, the intense pleasure to the point it was almost painful...

Except they weren't happy. They'd been filled with stress and worry. About taking down enemies, keeping his loved ones safe, guilt and hurt when he failed to do so, the fights he'd had with Sam on the correct course of action to take, the casualties of this ongoing war between good and evil...

Now he didn't have to feel any of it. Not the pain, or guilt or misery that could only be dulled and numbed by alcohol while he was human. None of it.

Now he was a free man. With nothing but him, the first blade, on the road with his car –

Suddenly the phone vibrated in his hand. He was getting an incoming call.

From Sam.

He smirked. He wasn't at the Black Spur, so his brother was probably quite frustrated. He answered. "I left ya an open tab at the bar," he said, trying to be playful and brotherly, like old times. "Knock yourself out."

 _"Hell, I may just take you up on that,"_ a voice with a slight southern drawl to it answered.

Despite himself, the hair on Dean's neck stood up. This wasn't Sam's voice. "Who is this?" He asked, keeping his voice calm. He was still on edge. He hadn't gotten to kill anything in a long time.

"Me?" The voice said. "Well, I'm Karma, brother."

None of this made sense. He'd never heard this voice before. Sure, there were people that wanted to get back at Dean Winchester for something. Hell, yes, But Dean was certain he'd never met this person before. "On my brother's phone," Dean pointed out.

"On your brother's phone," the man confirmed.

Dean was hella confused. "Is he dead?" He asked, trying to get a gist of the situation.

"No. Not yet. As long as you show up where I tell you to show up, your brother'll be just fine."

"How do I know he's still alive," Dean said, going through the motions of what you're supposed to do in a ransom situation, but for some reaosn he didn't feel it.

The anxiety or the fear cenching his heart at the idea of his brother being hurt or taken.

He felt...nothing.

That is, until he heard a loud bang and then outcries of pain and discomfort.

It was undoubtedly Sam's voice.

Dean's stomach hurt.

"Proof'a'life," the man said.

Dean heard Sam cry his name in the background. _"DEAN!"_

His tone was a warning. Even after ditching Sam, for months, letting him think he was dead, Sam still cared and wanted to keep him safe.

Away from the danger.

 _"Got a pen?"_

Dean swallowed, now officially pissed.

Because this guy had Sam, he was expected to do what this guy says and obey.

Hell no. He just ran _away_ from that load of bullcrap.

He wasn't gonna do squat. "Now you listen-ah-me," Dean said, getting fed up. "There's no trade. There's no meetup, there's no nothin'. Except the one hundred percent guarantee...that somewhere down the road," _like maybe in a few miles,_ he thought to himself, "I will find you, and I will kill you."

He wanted to kill.

Badly.

Worse than he wanted to be laid.

If he could knock out two birds with one stone but killing an _asshole_ , he could even be performing a public service. While also getting his rocks off.

Win-win.

 _"That'll be a_ _coold_ _comfort to your dead brother."_

"I told him to let me go, so whatever jam he's in now, that is his problem."

"Yeah well I'll be sure to pass that onto I'm while I'm slittin' his throat," the man said, a pathetic last attempt to get Dean to give in.

But killing Sam right now wouldn't make any sense. If there's no hostage, there's no reason to meet up with him. Dean knew that.

This guy was trying reverse Psychology on a master of manipulation.

This was just not his day.

"Yeah, you do that," Dean continued in a light-hearted tone. _And try that Psych 101 bullshit on someone else,_ he thought. "Cuz he knows me. And he knows damn sure that if I am one thing, I am a man of my word." He hung up.

Now to make a phone call.

He dialed Cassie.

~.~

Cassie fiddled with the end of her braid, restless as Crowley spoke.

"Well the answer is simple. You're not going to kill Dean."

Cassie glared. "You want me to disobey a direct order?"

Crowley gestured around for emphasis. "No. _You_ want you to disobey a direct order. If we're being honest, you're not going to kill him. Hell, even if you wanted to, you wouldn't be able to. He just proved that."

She sighed, annoyed with the fact he was right.

And pissed that Dean added insult to injury by jacking her weapons.

"And if we're continuing down this path of honesty," he said, looking at her with logic and composure, "You're going to track him down of your own accord anyway. So while you're at it, you might as well bring him home." He gestured to the hell hole they currently resided in.

She stood with her shoulders back. "That's exactly what I intend to do," she said sternly.

Crowley smiled, as though he were trying to imply empathy. "Love, you can't bring him home to your brother in his current state. It would break his little Angel heart, and lord knows he's low on fuel as it is. This could be his ticket to the Derby, if you catch my drift."

She threw her hands up. "Well what's the alternative? Bringing him back to _you_? What did I just _tell_ you? _You_ don't have a hold on him _either_. Even if I brought him back, he'd just run off again. Right now he is a danger and a threat to _everyone_. Human, Demon, Angel, it doesn't matter. He's a liability."

Crowley raised an eyebrow in surprise. "So you _do_ want to put him down? Like the rabid dog that he is," he said, throwing her words back at her.

"No," she said. "We only have one choice. I get him, meet up with Sam, bring him back to the bunker, and make him human again. It's our only option."

Crowley scowled. "You know even if you did that. That's just a temporary fix."

Cassie shrugged with confidence, knowing she's won. "It'll buy us time until we find a permanent solution. But he's of no use to you as he is now, and he sure as hell isn't of use to anyone dead."

Crowley grinned. "So you _are_ going to disobey. My my, what a naughty little thing you are."

Cassie rolled her eyes. "That woman lost any hope of having my loyalty the second she put me in a damn pencil skirt."

Their conversation was cut off.

Cassie's phone started playing highway to hell by ACDC, more apt now than when she set that for Dean's ringtone.

"Bastard," she growled, answering it. "You took my blades, asshole."

 _"Sam's been kidnapped."_


End file.
